I noticed some spelling and wording errors.
On Pyran’s mantle, it should be “Heavy Ordinance” (the “i” is missing):
The phrase “Why yes” does not make a lot of sense to me. I guess the “Why” should be removed:
Here it should be “you have restored”, (the additional “r” is wrong):
The following wording seems to imply a wrong meaning. Why do the Aetherials need to arm their “resistance fighters”? The resistance fighters belong to Malmouth, as is further confirmed in the text (“Recover these for the resistance.”):
After the “well” should be a comma because it is an introductory word:
Here you have another “Why” that does not seem to make a lot of sense. “Why” is a question word, but then she just says “thank you”. The “Why” should be removed: