It is my experience that soldiers can only be controlled by flagging a combat area, and that control is very sketchy at best. This is good for realism i suppose but can be very frustrating when your village is decimated because soldiers sometimes go kamikaze.
Autofilled soldiers that replace soldiers during a raid will immediately join the fight without stopping to grab weapons or armour - just blindly attacking hordes of enemies in nothing but their underwear. This leads to terrible losses → players: ok i will just build more towers.
Maybe a do / dont attack in your underwear toggle on the barracks to indicate if you expect your citizens to martyr themselves ?
Also a stand your ground vs attack on sight toggle might be helpful? Right now I find that soldiers that i left defending a gate will chase a runaway raider halfway across the map - leaving the gate undefended.