V4.1.2.1
[Major New Features]
- Crate Entertainment is proud to announce our upcoming tie-in game: Trap, Sever, Delicious! featuring a beloved character.
[Shattered Realm]
- Following a few more rounds with the nerf hammer, the Shattered Realm is now completely shattered. All shards are now 99% smaller, but may have become an inhalation hazard.
- Bosses now aggro together or individually, until observed.
- Over sixty new Legendary items have been added to the game. One for each Shattered Realm level. They drop exclusively from existing loot sources within Shattered Realm shards.
[Crucible]
- The Crucible game mode has been disabled until Lokarr leaves the forum and returns to his post.
- Game speed now updates dynamically based on build performance to ensure an even playing field.
- Monsters will now opt to stay in their spawn areas if too many of their allies recently died.
[Art]
- Due to overtightening of graphics in past updates, we’ve losened some monster designs in favor of Atari-style sprites.
[Tech]
- Fixed an issue with Gazerman sometimes losing focus.
- Cheetah Cycles have been scrapped in favor of the industry-standard Elephant algorithms for script execution in order to prevent memory leaks.
[Game]
- Thanks to the overwhelming popularity of Grimtools, the start button now simply opens your browser instead of starting the game to help expedite the process.
- Based on game statistics, playing on Normal difficulty falls off greatly for level 100 characters and we just can’t quite figure out why. To increase its appeal compared to Ultimate difficulty, Normal difficulty has been renamed to Ultimately difficult. At the very least, some people should select it by accident and feel great about their build all of a sudden.
- Monster Totems now keep generating monsters until the character dies or the game crashes, whichever comes first.
- Untouched Meals have been removed from the game. Who in their right mind picks those up anyway?
- Failing to slay Morgoneth in the Tomb of the Heretic will now usher in an age of darkness, permanently disabling all lighting in your save file.
- Rune Augments now require translation before they can be used. Please bring all runes to the nearest museum for study.
- Applying Rune Augments in the correct order can now spell out naughty words.
- Added new item filter: profanity
[Itemization]
- Added a new item category: socks. This grossly underutilized gear slot should breathe some fresh air into the ARPG genre, unless it’s been a while since you did laundry.
- We are disappointed with the lack of use of common items in the endgame. To balance this out, items of other qualities can no longer be equipped until the numbers average out.
- Items are now automatically nerfed based on the frequency with which they are generated using GDStash.
- Build-defining items have been added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary.
[Class & Skills]
- All classes have been set to private to prevent cross-class stack overflow. Any existing dual-class characters may be subject to polymorphic micro-algorithm fluctuations.
Devotion
- Another year without sacrifices has left the gods hungry. All constellations now require double the devotion points.
- We heard some feedback about certain constellations underperforming versus others (we’re looking at you, Crossroads). To address the issue, all constellations now grant the same bonuses.
- Based on feedback to the above change of constellations all feeling the same, we’ve added additional colors to constellations.
- In light of feedback to the above change of new constellation colors not being sufficiently user-friendly for color-blind users, we’ve added new stats to all constellations to increase their usability.
- Based on our future-sense™ feedback of above changes, we’ve decided to shut down all devotion shrines temporarily. This is a temporary solution to temporarily address the temporary concerns from the temporal feedback section.
Soldier
- Damage is now increased in battlefields.
- Forcewave now scales with the character’s mass and acceleration at the time of casting.
- Fighting Form can now be toggled to Flight Form.
- Laceration damage is now reduced by bandaids.
Demolitionist
- Agonizing Flames are finished agonizing over the title of their new novel: “Licked by Ulzuin’s Flames”, by Churk Tangle.
- Searing Light is now always set to medium-high to avoid burning.
- Static Strike is now more effective at low humidity.
- Temper has been renamed to Harmony to set a better tone for the mastery.
Occultist
- Lightning Strike can no longer strike the same target twice.
- Vulnerability has been thinking it over recently and is ready to really open up and discuss its feelings.
- Wasting has been redesigned and renamed to Recycling.
- Yes, we’ve had Second Rite, but what about Elevenses?
Nightblade
- Nidalla’s Justifiable Ends have been under increased scrutiniy lately and are perhaps not as justifiable as initially thought. In light of this, the skill has been renamed to Nidalla’s Burnt Ends, yum.
- Lethal Assault now correctly deals lethal damage to the character when activated.
- Shadow Dance now requires a white sheet to be equipped in any armor slot.
- Blade Barrier now works with all the spare knives in your drawer.
Arcanist
- Inferno is now a three part series.
- Tainted Power should wash out after a few cycles.
- Supercharged now scales with Overload as long as it doesn’t trip any breakers.
- Distortion can now be toggled off in the game options.
Shaman
- Torrent is now a felony and may come with a maximum penalty of 5 years in prison and/or a $250,000 fine.
- Upheaval damage is now more predictable if a seismographer is equipped.
- Storm Surge now deals bonus damage in coastal areas, unless the monsters are insured.
- To improve balance on Wind Devils, we’ve added Snow Angels to the Shaman mastery.
Inquisitor
- Artifact Handling now requires safety gloves, goggles and steel-toed boots. Failure to equip all three may result in fines and disabled skills.
- If Vigor lasts longer than four hours, please see a doctor.
- Steel Resolve is now 30% more rust-proof.
- If Ignition fails to start, consult your local inquisitor artifact repair shop.
Necromancer
- Rotting Fumes now deals additional damage near Untouched Meals left out in the sun too long.
- Ill Omen’s been saying it for years and we’re just not convinced anymore. The skill has been renamed to Unreliable Omen.
- Decomposition now deals its damage over 10 months, reduced to 5 months when scaled with Decay.
- Reap Spirit no longer works on undead enemies to prevent double-dipping.
Oathkeeper
- Crushing Verdict now also reduces sales, if you listen to the critics anyway.
- To encourage scholastic pursuits, Heart of Wrath has been renamed to Chart of Math.
- Reprisal, Retribution and Rebuke have been combined into one skill to reduce redundancy. We get it, Oathkeepers like retaliation.
- Shattering Smash now has a chance to unravel all of reality and attract the presence of Yugol, the Insatiable Night. To compensate for this, it now has a 1s cooldown.
, or Crate selling all their stash stocks? 
