This all dates back to me starting to play hardcore. After quite some hours in with my first character, actually we started to play this game mostly in co-op with two friends, I kinda got fed up with my character having a lot of deaths on him. I was just playing extremely greedy and reckless, also didn’t know about a lot of game’s mechanics at first, usual begginer stuff.
After my two friends stopped playing the game (usual casuals with short attention spam). One of them even started cheating in the meantime, you know playing co-op with some cheating russians, obtaining non-legit items and similar shit, I think it’s needles to say how much I despise stuff like that, especially in primarily single-player games, in such games I even find stuff like this extremely childish and not worthy of a grown person. I would go even further and connect it to infant and bad personality, but ok let’s leave it at that.
Disputes between us started, which were definitely not only the consequence of playing Grim Dawn, well that would probably be just childish and stupid on my part. But bottom line, after some time we stopped playing together, but I was the only one that still enjoyed the game and I couldn’t stop playing it, however even I started to get a bit bored with the game and wanted addictional challenge, so at first I started to play with different builds and so-called “death rules”. I did not want to have for example more that 3 or 5 deaths on a character, it bothered me extremely. So you can probably guess what was my next step soon after, I finally started playing hardcore.
And here comes the struggles and suffereing of a lot of hardcore guys, bet let me admit that I was never able to take it lightly or just “deal with it”. I’ve lost a numerous characters in hardcore, and I’ve only been able to finish the base game on ultimate with one of them, that was also the only character that I’ve been able to get to level 100, I was even close to completing the Octavius set that she would be using. I was revered and on nemesis with all but one faction… But one day I just mindlessly marched into the foundation of corpses to fight Rashalga, even though I made a decision to only go after super-bosses once I complete my end-game BiS gear. You know the usual scenario, boss is at very low health, you get a bit greedy and anxious, boom, a hardcore player’s favourite screen appears, and that’s it. Countless hours of completionist and dedicated gameplay thrown away, even hours of farming nemesis bosses and crucible.
I was devastated, I just cannot bring myself to take shit like this lightly. I gotta admit I fell into serious depression for quite some days, even weeks. I mean ok I’ve been suffering from depression for years and Grim Dawn definitely isn’t the sole reason of my depression, well that would be some serious first world problems wouldn’t they? Nah it’s not that extremely serious, but it’s still serious tho. I gotta admit a couple weeks passed after loosing that character, and whenever I think about it I’m still heartbroken. Not lying, it was almost like loosing a long-time lover or a partner.
What I did afterward was starting to play a couple of other characters, but all of the remaining ones was only on veteran, my highest was around level 45 and was a pet character on top of that, and I never really enjoyed playing that character because I just hate playing with pets, when I made it I wanted to try it anyway but could never bring myself to enjoy it. I always enjoyed playing s&b tanks the most, and my character that advanced the furthest was exactly that.
Right now I have over 1000 hours in this game, and I’m heartbroken. I deleted of all my remaining characters, with some of them I even died on purpose/made a suicide. It was all out of pure sadness and depression, I couldn’t enjoy the game anymore. I just cannot bring myself to play the same exact content for the trillionth time, it is just getting me bored to death, it’s killing me. The additional added burden is that I’m the type of guy who wants to always have the entire map cleared and all sidequests completed on all difficulties, which is extremely time-consuming, you can only imagine how much time was invested in that favourite character. I even caught myself contemplating stupid thoughts about cheating to bring my character back and even how to revent time - LOL. Haha it’s actually getting a bit tragicomical when I think about it now. It’s like I want to cry for my character and laugh at myself at the same time, it’s a strange feeling alltogether.
Yea like I said, I deleted all of my remaining low level guys, I hate them I cannot bring myself to playing them again. Some of you will probably say, but why play hardcore then, just go back to softcore. Easier said than done, I just cannot do it, after so many hours of being a hardcore player, playing HC is the only thrill that I still have in the game. I could never ever bring myself to play this game again through all the same content and even on softcore.
I tried playing a couple of my oldest softcore characters only recent but I just couldn’t do it. I was standing in Devil’s Crossing, looking in the inventory, feeling depressed as hell, that lasted for a minute or two, shut down the game.
I want to uninstall right now
Perhaps with Forgotten Gods
Just wanted to share it lol