Ulgrim
Well, if it isn't my savior! I cannot thank you enough. I finally get to cook for other people again. Here, have some soup! Could use some salt, but Captain Whiskey over there insists that it's for combat use only.
Glad you've settled in.
Come back any time. I've got a few old stories to tell if you have an ear to listen.
Will do. Later, old timer.


Good to see you again. What will it be today?
Let's hear one of your stories.

How much do you know of the former Warden? Rumors of Krieg's strange and violent behavior even reached my ears in the distant capital. When he failed to respond to multiple summons, an agent was dispatched from the capital to... resolve the situation. Unfortunately, the Grim Dawn was unleashed before the man could reach Krieg. At least, I assume that must be what happened.
Did I tell this one already? I once had to deal with a particularly rude dignitary from the capital who had even slighted the Emperor! The man made a huge fuss about his food being bland, so I whipped him up a little chef's special filled with my strongest spices. Let's just say he ran out of there spilling from both ends. Oddly enough, I heard he died the next day. I hope it didn't have anything to do with the spices I used.
I served a follower of Dreeg once. Now, I don't normally judge a man based on his beliefs, but those people believe in some twisted stuff. The all-seeing eye, the hidden realm the witch gods supposedly reside in, how Dreeg is the watcher that guards the way. No wonder they're so uptight if they think someone is staring at them all the time! It's funny though, apparently someone was watching him after all. Not long after we parted ways, an inquisitor took him in for questioning and he was never seen again. At least, that's what I heard.
Ever consider a bowl of Slith stew? Don't. They may eat us and it seems only fair we should eat them back but I tried boiling one once and it ruined a set of pots and ladles. Incidentally, I heard a strange tale once that the Slith were created by humans. The story went that the Emperor's general staff wanted an army that could fight effectively in the southern swamps. Horrific human experimentation led to the creation of a reptilian humanoid but they were uncontrollable, escaped captivity and began to breed out in the wilds. I'm sure that's just a legend though.
Prior to the Grim Dawn, I served a meal to some gentlemen in the capital who were deep in conversation about a remarkable new method of travel using arcane gateways. They said it would allow the Emperor's armies, stationed in the capital, to appear almost instantly in the furthest provinces. Imagine to what lengths the emperor's general staff would go to procure such a decisive military advantage. You know, hearing myself say it, it sounds very similar to that portal you used to rescue me from the swamp.
One thing still bothers me about the way events unfolded during the Grim Dawn. I was working in the capital during the weeks prior to the attack and I remember two of the three legions there were dispatched to remote provinces for seemingly no reason. It seemed very peculiar to me at the time that they would leave the capital so exposed but, then again, I'm just a simple cook. Who am I to question the workings of the military?
Don't discount the effectiveness of piercing weapons. They may not have the raw damage dealing power of a heavy mace or brutal axe but their ability to penetrate armor can be very effective against more heavily armored foes. At least, that's what I've heard and, you know, my profession has made me very familiar with blades. Being a cook, I mean.
I've served more than a few men and women whose ambition and lust for power exceeded their good sense. There are limits to human achievement and when we grasp beyond our ability, it inevitably leads to calamity. Sorry, that's a bit heavy for mealtime conversation. What would I know; I am but a cook?
Have you run into the Bloodsworn yet? The fanatical cult devoted to the supposed elder god Ch'thon? The cult has existed forever; some say since before recorded history. I always thought the myth of an elder god betrayed and gruesomely dismembered was too fantastical to be anything but the stuff of theatre but since the Grim Dawn, it seems the cult has newfound power and desperate men flock to swell their ranks. When I was wandering the outskirts of Burrwitch, I came upon some cultists who pressed me to join their ranks. At first they wouldn't take no for an answer but I treated them to some hearty stew and then they troubled me no further. Never underestimate the power of good cooking.
When I was young, I had the misfortune to witness a banquet that was thrown for five Pathfinders of the biggest Rover bands at the time. It was supposed to be a peace offering but none of them left alive. The government thought the Rovers would disband once their leaders were dead but they just chose new ones and moved on. I regret how they were persecuted in the past but it seems generations spent roaming the wilderness and back roads of these lands while evading agents of the empire prepared them well for the Grim Dawn. They seem to be weathering it better than most and have taken in many refugees from the empire that once hunted them.
Later old timer.

Let's hear another one!
I'll take some more soup.
Here you go, nice and hot. Eat up now. You don't want to offend me, do you?

Later, old man.
Hah, ha. I appreciate a healthy appetite, but Captain Whiskey insists on rationing what we have.

Very well.
