I have had this a few times now and have seen it reported elsewhere (but don’t remember if Discord, Steam, or Reddit - sorry) where in one year get the Ransom/Attack/Wait message, choose Attack, and take care of the invading army. The next year I get a Ransom/Attack (no wait option) making it look like I waited previously (though as stated, did not) and have to deal with it again. Since there is no wait option on second year, I assume this is a bug.
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I can confirm this happend to me as well.
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Me too… but also, before the last patch it was attacked every 4 years at most, sometimes every 3 years. Now the bandits attack me every other year or the following year.