[April Fools] Ascend to Victory with Happy Reaper™
Posted by Lylirra 4/1/2014 <-- Blizz made a mobile Diablo joke in 2014. Now we know what Red Shirt Guy was thinking about as he posed his question!
The next next chapter in Sanctuary’s epic saga has been unveiled. Summon your sickles, put on your pointy hood, and get ready for Happy Reaper™ —the definitive Diablo experience coming soon to web and mobile!
What is Happy Reaper?
In Happy Reaper, players take on the role of Malthael, the Angel of Death, who’s recently returned to Sanctuary with a vengeance. With a series of well-timed mouse clicks or finger taps, you’ll skillfully guide Malthael through a network of ancient Pandemonium ruins to collect human souls and obliterate all puny nephalem with your trusty Death Laser of Doom™.
Easy, right? WRONG. Happy Reaper is probably the most challenging Blizzard game you’ve ever played. It’s incredibly difficult to learn and almost impossible to master!
Robust, interactive storytelling allows every choice to matter in Happy Reaper. Will Malthael ascend to victory or fall into oblivion? Only you decide!
New Tapright™ technology captures your clicks and taps better than ever, offering unparalleled responsiveness and absolutely no scapegoat for your imminent failure.
An all-new, fully loaded soundscape stimulates your senses and helps you reduce stress, improve sleep, and lose weight*
Experience the WHOOSH of every ghostly wing flap and the POWbam(wuz here) of every laser beam blast with our proprietary Dia-Bling™ FX engine.
Larger-than-life in-game collision system provides exceptional (and increasingly difficult) levels of challenge.
Bursting with rich gameplay depth, hidden difficulty modes, and the most spectacular end-game content we’ve ever seen** , Happy Reaper offers limitless hours of frustration enjoyment for any aspiring harbinger of death.
Can’t wait to get your hands on Happy Reaper? (Who said patience was a virtue?) Test your mettle RIGHT HERE on our website with an exclusive first look of the in-browser client.
Also, be sure to stay tuned to diablo3.com for additional details about Happy Reaper including upcoming beta tests, supported browsers and mobile devices, release date and pre-order opportunities, and much more. In the meantime, happy reaping!
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
**Or at least that we’re told. We haven’t actually made it past pillar #4. Let us know how it goes!
THIS AIN’T NOT*** YOUR MOTHER’S APRIL FOOLS
***Damned right that happened
Happy Reaper 2 Coming Soon! But first we have to take a pit stop in China and then sell all our Blizzard stock.
THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT!