Welcome to the Grim Dawn Church of RNGesus!
This is a place of gathering for the faithful (and not so faithful) to come in times of need and guidance or even if you would like to just offer up a quick prayer or sacrifice in the eternal quest for better odds.
Due to the #off-topic:totally-random nature of this section of the forums I hereby declare this thread as holy and sacrosanct, from beginning to end, and intended as a haven and shelter to those in need. I am also open to personally blessing any who ask it of me and the faithful are free to attend daily, weekly etc. as it suits them.
As you enter these hallowed halls do not be surprised to feel uplifted in spirit as the worship of RNGesus is centered around the promise that RNGesus rolled The Dice for your salvation and continues to roll those exact same dice to this very day out of the endless love he carries for you and for the sound of a well-rolled drop. Yes, you heard that right! RNGesus is literally rolling The Dice this very moment and every micro-moment, just for YOU!
If that’s not something to be excited about then I don’t know what is and as fate and The Dice would have it, I am positutely vibrating with excitement about bringing RNGesus into all of your lives!
Q & A with Pope powbam
Why you? What makes you so special?
chuckles and snorts in a light-hearted TV-friendly fashion
Glad you asked, Bob! I was snoozing. And then I awoke. That’s how I knew I’d been called upon and guided to found this Church. Due to the random nature of the event I feel this is all the proof required. Cults, I mean Churches and Religions, dating back 2,000+ years and more have been founded on far, far less.
What are the rules? Is there a Bible? Commandments? Anything that lets us easily and quickly point fingers and call non-believers heretics and blasphemers?
- Nope. I am literally just making this shit up as I go along, which may actually be the only real “rule” to adhere to in worship of RNGesus.
What about a hell? Is it possible to fall and be condemned to a fiery fate of some nature?
- No hell except the “hell” of never getting the drop you are looking for. If there was a hell tho you can bet your Sweet Aunt Petunia that it would definitely be randomly generated.
- It’s all in the drops, homie.
Do you accept donations?
What? Do I look stupid? Of course I accept donations.
Send me a pm and we’ll work out the fastest possible way to get your life-savings into my wallet! Now quit asking me all these stupid ass questions and bugger off.
Proof and Worship of: